fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
