now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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