you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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