What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
