At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
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we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
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In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
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