Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize