You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Jerry, you need to find god
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
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Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
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You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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