Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Randomize
