Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
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