No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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