My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
