I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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