so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
