Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
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