Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
