I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
