Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
