I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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