How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
