we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
