Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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