A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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