But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
