the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
