if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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