I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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