You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
