38 yer olds are good kisserssss
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
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