We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
okay pat passed out under dana's car
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
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I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
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I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
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