If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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