I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
