Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
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He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
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I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize