Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
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But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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