My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
