I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
did i walk over a car last night?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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