end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
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