You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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