I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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