Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
