The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drinking out of a sandbucket again
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize