PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize