Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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