I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
