Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
