when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
