Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
