they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize