so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
