eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
