I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
not ubering you a puppy
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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