so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
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I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
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Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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