im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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