What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
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I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
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Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
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