i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Randomize
