The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
