just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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