apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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