6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
