wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
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