i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip